Your Partner Isn’t Saving for Retirement – Now What?
Saving for retirement is typically challenging enough when you’re doing it on your own, but what happens when your partner isn’t on the same page?
Maybe they think saving for retirement can wait.
Maybe they believe Social Security will be enough.
Or maybe they’re simply overwhelmed and don’t know where to start.
Whatever the reason, when one partner isn’t saving for retirement, it can put a real strain on your future plans – and your relationship.
The good news? You’re not powerless.
There are practical steps you can take to help protect your future and encourage your partner to get on board.
#1 Don’t Let Your Partner’s Inaction Derail Your Future
When your partner isn’t saving for retirement, it can be easy to feel stuck…or worse, as if your own efforts won’t be enough.
But don’t let their inaction keep you from building your part of the safety net.
While we believe it’s ideal to save as a team, you can still make meaningful progress on your own.
Here’s what you can do:
- Max out your 401(k) contributions (or try to). For 2025, that means up to $23,500, or $31,000 if you’re 50 or older.
- Take advantage of any employer match – that’s free money.
- Open an IRA or Roth IRA in your name, if you’re eligible.
- Consider spousal IRAs if one partner doesn’t have earned income – this lets you contribute on their behalf and potentially increase your total household retirement savings.
Even if it feels as if you’re carrying the weight alone, keep going.
Continuing to prioritize saving for retirement means you’re not just protecting yourself, you’re setting an example, potentially creating security for both of you, and keeping your future options open.
And who knows? Your consistency might just inspire your partner to take the first step, too.
#2 Have the Hard Conversation
If your partner isn’t saving for retirement, avoiding the topic probably won’t make it any easier – or any less important.
In our opinion, one of the most effective steps is to start an honest, judgment-free conversation.
Don’t make it about blame. Instead, focus on your shared future.
Many couples delay retirement talks because they assume their partner is handling it – or they fear conflict.
But silence leads to misunderstandings, and misunderstandings lead to missed opportunities.
Here’s how to approach it:
Choose a calm time, not in the heat of a financial disagreement.
Start with your goals: Where do you both see yourselves in 10, 15, or 25 years?
Ask open-ended questions like…
- “How do you feel about saving for retirement?”
- “What does retirement look like to you?”
Share your concerns without attacking: “I’m worried that if we don’t start saving for retirement together, we might not have the future we want.”
The goal isn’t to pressure – it’s to help create clarity and align your visions.
Sometimes the hesitation comes from fear, lack of knowledge, or simply procrastination.
A candid conversation could be the first step toward a shared plan – and a lot less stress down the road.
#3 Find a Shared Why
Sometimes the roadblock to saving for retirement isn’t about money – it’s about motivation.
If your partner struggles to prioritize long-term savings, it may help to define a compelling reason why retirement planning matters to both of you.
Do you want to travel? Move closer to family? Start a second act doing something you love?
The clearer the vision, the easier it typically becomes to connect the dots between today’s financial decisions and tomorrow’s lifestyle.
Sit down together and create a shared retirement vision. Put it on paper.
Turn it into a goal you’re both working toward, not a vague someday idea.
When you frame saving for retirement as a way to help protect and enjoy your shared future – rather than a restriction or burden – it becomes something your partner can get behind.
#4 Lead by Example
If your partner isn’t saving for retirement, we think one of the best things to do for yourself is to make sure you’re modeling smart financial behavior yourself.
Contribute regularly to your 401(k) or IRA.
Talk openly (but not critically) about the steps you’re taking – like increasing your contribution rate, rebalancing your portfolio, or meeting with a financial advisor.
We don’t recommend keeping score or trying to “shame” your spouse into action.
We recommend building financial transparency and showing what proactive planning looks like in real life.
When your partner sees the discipline you’re putting into saving for retirement, it may inspire them to take similar steps – or at least open the door to more meaningful financial conversations.
Over time, you may discover consistent action speaks louder than consistent lectures.
#5 Bring in a Neutral Third Party
If the conversation keeps stalling or turning tense, it may be time to loop in a professional.
Sometimes it’s easier for your spouse to hear tough truths or big-picture advice from someone outside the relationship.
A financial advisor can help walk you both through the numbers, help you set realistic goals, and show how much your partner’s participation really matters.
This doesn’t mean giving up control – it means building a team.
A neutral third party may also be able to help with:
- Creating a retirement plan both of you understand and agree on
- Clarifying roles and responsibilities
- Identifying gaps or risks in your savings strategy
You don’t have to do this alone – and neither does your partner.
